Thanksgiving is a time when many reach out to family and friends; a time to connect heart to heart.

In fact, images of family gathered around a table filled with a feast and happy faces often greats us from billboards to greeting card shops and every stop along the way.

But what if there is a memory energy activated within you that makes your stomach turn at that sight  or keeps you flip flopping at night ? What if the stress of the anticipation of an emotionally charged family gathering has you frantic or filled with fear that you will be alone?

This reaction is an indication that you have energy that has been triggered and is connected to some event from the past that remains unforgiven; it is still waiting to be released and healed.

So, why does it keep showing up?

You’ve tried everything that you can think of…you’ve ignored it, you’ve re-framed it, you’ve dismissed, you’ve even exorcised it!  But still here you are, another year raw with anticipation of pain! 

The good news is even at this late date, you don’t have to stay in that state. You have the power to change it.

Here are some steps to help you free yourself of this stress. 

1. Have compassion for yourself. 

Yes, you are here again seemingly in the same place, but that’s not entirely true. You are a different person; wiser, more experienced, more capable of being present in your own awareness. How do I know? Because you are here, reading this post! That takes awareness!

2. Acknowledge the situation.

Don’t try to sweep it under the rug. Acknowledge it as a ‘work in progress.’ Giving yourself that slack may be just what you need to allow yourself to see things differently. And that is the beginning of a brand-new start!

3. Accept things as they are 

That’s right. You are not being disloyal to yourself or to anyone else by just accepting things as they are. Instead, you are defining a starting place for healing to take place. This is essential information because like a GPS, you need to know where you are starting from before you can get the full roadmap to where you want to go.

4. Be patient, kind and loving with yourself with the reminder that all of this is temporary. Nothing remains the same, not ever. And just like everything else, when there is a plan, a map, you will know where to go and what to do when you get there and the time is right. In the meantime, collect data you will need along the way if and when you are at your gathering this time. This data is in the form of sensations and feelings and thoughts. Pay attention to it all and carry a journal with you to keep track. 

5. Choosing 

If choosing not to attend is what is necessary, love yourself immediately for having the strength and clarity to make this decision. But do make another choice for making certain that you are not alone at this time. Perhaps be of service at a shelter or soup kitchen, perhaps invite a friend or friends over and host a gathering yourself. Even if this is a ‘virtual visit’ reach out with love and allow yourself to be loved as well. 

6. Be grateful for something..anything, even YOU! 

Whatever you do, put your focus on being thankful, grateful even for this new aware YOU and your new decision to give yourself permission to be true to yourself. This dedication to love yourSelf in whatever way feels best to you is a huge step in the right direction. 

7. Forgive Yourself 

Forgive yourself for any shoulds, coulds or perceived false beliefs about being ‘less than’ in any way. You are a work in progress, just as we each are.

Where you are now is not where you will be tomorrow or the next or the next. Take a breath, place your hands on your heart and let go of ever believing you need to figure all of this out on your own. It just isn’t true. We are all here together and we are here with you.  This is reason for celebration and for giving THANKS!

Know that I am grateful for you and that you are part of my tribe, reading this message and right in this very moment, I am loving you. Thank you for being here with me and the rest of these beautiful hearts and minds that are here too! 

Give Thanks and BE Happy!

With Hugs and HeartShifts,
Marcy