Blame and Wait
Are you rolling your eyes now? I can’t blame you if you are. The concept seems ludicrous doesn’t it. I mean after all, somebody is always to blame when something goes wrong and that somebody needs to say they’re sorry right?
But here’s the real question, and yes, I’m directing it to you. Where has the stance of blame and waiting for an apology gotten you?
How many years, months, days, hours, minutes of your life have you given to feeding this notion? How many lines in the sand have you drawn? Lines that keep you separate from someone you love or even worse, from some parts of you that are waiting to be loved but you have denied them access to it.
So, what is blame and wait really costing you? How long will you wait for that apology? How long will you have to keep that armor up to keep them out and keep you in?
A New Perspective
My question to you today is what if you could see things differently? What if you really could adopt this concept that no one needs to say that they are sorry?
Would you do it?
Could you do it?
I remember having that same reaction back in the 70’s when the film Love Story came out with a similar quote, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
I rolled my eyes then too. And as I sat in the audience with my boyfriend, already jaded by the programming of my youth, I leaned over to him and said, ”Don’t get any ideas, you will still need to say you’re sorry to me”
But, you know what? That was then and this is now. Now, I have a different take on it. I see it differently.
Start By Changing Your Heart
Now, I’m not here to change your mind. Only you can do that. But what I am doing here is to offer you an opportunity to change your heart…to get softer as you lay down your shield.
So, I want to share a few ways that you can do that…if you want to…if you want to feel better about yourself and those around you and the world and well, just everything…
Establish your goal…for example, to let go of the heaviness you have been carrying and to feel better! Start to notice when you do feel better, lighter, happier, healthier, stronger, less fearful. Collect the details of that…What are you doing at the time?Who are you with?What kind of conversation are you having or what are you being pulled in by
What can you do more of to keep it going? Can you change it up a bit and still get the same results?
How can you be less rigid and more flexible in other areas of your life? Can you try new things? Drive a different way to work? Style your hair differently? In other words, what kind of simple changes can you initiate in your life?
Now, here’s a really important question…do you feel compelled to say you’re sorry to any of these things you are leaving behind? If not, then you are giving yourself permission to see things differently.
Yes, you can expand your perspective.
Yes, you can change the way you think.
Yes, you can accept there are new and different ways of seeing, thinking and doing things and they can help you feel better and stronger rather than heavy and weaker. Amazing right?
So, what if you could change your perspective about Forgiveness and just explore what makes you feel better in regards to it. Would you give it a shot?
What if, instead of seeing that other person as a criminal or villain, you could see them just as you were…blocked off, stuck, trying to cope with all of that heaviness and fear of separation or abandonment or just not being loved.
What if instead of dousing them with blame and shame you doused them with a little bit of compassion based on the knowingness that you are experiencing and feeling that now.
What if you just focused on paying attention to whenever you felt that way again and made sure to find a remedy asap by loving yourself, diving deeper into some self care or demanding more for yourself?
Forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all kind of blanket to throw around haphazardly. And it’s certainly not accomplished by a simple proclamation.
What could be the parts of forgiveness that would act as a catalyst for this deeper understanding and transformation?
First, a willingness to see it differently.
Couple that with a commitment to keep taking the actions that allow a new perspective to take hold and HeartShift the lens that you look through.
Forgiveness is a process where you get to explore and identify the heaviness causing separation within yourself and choose to let it go and then Youza!
You are powerful once again!
Does that mean there is no accountability? Absolutely not! In fact, accountability is an essential first step to forgiveness …but it’s forgiveness first for ourselves and then for others. Accountability is a gateway for us really being able to let go so accountability is a powerful force unto itself.
But the choice to stay in that process purposefully to let go, is so that you can be free and it is a choice…your choice.
Giving lip service does no one any good but a shift in your lens and how you see the world will affect your thoughts and your choices and of course, the actions that you ultimately take.
And I don’t know about you, but that’s a big relief for me! That means that I can shift things if I am unhappy with what I am experiencing.
I know that some people think accountability must be in the form of saying you’re sorry to another person but the truth is aren’t you really just looking to be treated better? That automatically is spoken in a change of attitude, stance, perspective, choices and the actions and that is the bottom line for us all. When I see that in a person, I am so comforted because I know that “Love is on the move” and I feel this deep joy with the expansion of their beingness and it ignites the same in me. So, clearly, it’s a win/win for everyone.
That’s how powerful the impact of diving into ourselves is…we create this beautiful intimacy within ourselves where we can address (be accountable for) our vulnerabilities and mis-hits where we fed into the programming that lead us astray instead of feeding our love of self and taking the actions that it called for.
Answering a call for love requires that you let go of limiting and outdated beliefs and move towards a more expanded view and that choice is made in a moment and stimulates a “change reaction” that shifts everything!
Carpe, Carpe, Carpe
The word moment comes from the Latin; momentum. So, perhaps this call for love for the expanded heart and mind is asking for us to also start moving beyond everyday notions like the notion of carpe diem. You may be asking; how could that possibly be a limited belief?
It does when it overshadows Universal truth that says that all of your power to manifest is right here and now and move towards
Carpe Momentum. Seize the moment; this moment.
For it is this moment that is full of all your potential to create change and all the energy of inertia to move you forward and expand your heart, expand your mind and of course, expand your ability to love and be loved.
Carpe Momentum; start your journey right here and right now. Oh and also, you can do that and get the support you need, the how to get started by ordering my new book, Forgive To Live: Making Peace to Live in Peace Start your personal journey of “Never having to say you’re sorry.” I’ll meet you there and we’ll do it together.
You may also want to go to my podcast # 15 where I have a few other tips for you to support you on your journey of “how can I see this differently” and become proactive in creating the life you came here to live and live it full on!
Oh and make sure to tune in to my next podcast for an intimate discussion about Self Love….I have a few surprises lined up for you!
Remember to leave your comments, questions or remarks below. I would love to see your “Carpe Momentum.”
Sending you hugs and HeartShifts